Posts tagged apples

Apple Pie

Happy Vagina Day! We dumpstered a bunch of different red apples and had some of that refrigerated “just unroll and bake!” pie dough left over from the Food Not Bombs dive so, of course, it’s time for apple pie. The dough was well past it’s expiration date but a) that shit’s chock full of scary preservatives anyway and b) it’s going to be baked at 350 degrees.

Mmmm, freshly scrubbed dumpster apples!

After cleaning apples, thinly slice them. Some recipes will tell you to peel and core the apples first, but there’s valuable fiber in apple peels and don’t you want to have regular poopies? I do. There are also phytonutrients or antioxidants or whatever in there. I think I used 7 or 8 apples and still had plenty left.

Now it’s time to make the apples even more delectable than they already are. I threw in 3/4 cup sugar and I was going to put a couple tablespoons of molasses in, but I forgot. Brown sugar would be ideal. Then add a couple tablespoons of flour. Then you’re supposed to add a teaspoon each of lemon juice and cinnamon, neither of which I had. So I substituted with some vinegar and some “orchard spice” granola. Hey, it could work. Stir it until everything is coated.

I rolled the bottom crust into a pan. I didn’t have a pie pan so I used a pan with a metal handle. Roll out the top crust on a cutting board and cut out some shapes to vent and decorate. Before putting the crust on top, dot the apple mixture with margarine. Place the top crust on the pie and roll the edges together. Coat with soymilk.

It’s a heart-y apple pie! Hyuck hyuck. To my surprise the granola worked magnificently! I don’t think I’ll make apple pie without granola ever again. I’m really not much of a baker so I was damn proud when this pie turned out so well.


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